I was just 7 years old. Just 7. I don’t know why I was chosen. I don’t even know if I was the only one. I just knew he was doing something wrong. Very wrong. And I could not say anything to my mother or sister. They knew it all but could not say anything just like me. Every day was the same. He would come and grab my hand sometimes or my waist that did not even have any curves that time. I didn’t know what was happening and what was he even doing with me. What was that? What was child sex abuse? What is happening with me? And why?!
1 year passed and I still didn’t know what was happening. I just knew one thing and that was the fact that I didn’t like whatever he was doing. His touch made me feel disgust. The way he stared at me was like a wolf looking at a lamb. And that lamb was helpless. A butcher’s place seemed a better place for her.
Must be thinking that not telling my family about this was a very a stupid thing to do. It was a very simple step. Just go and tell. But would have they believed the fact that he was none other than my tutor. A teacher is supposed to give you education for life not scars for life both on mind and body.
First kiss is a special thing. But for me it was not. It was just getting grabbed tightly and forcefully getting pressed on lips by his. I didn’t know what pleasure he used to get by caressing thighs of an 8 year old girl. I just knew it was gross. I felt gross.
At school my friends used to talk about monsters and I swear their imagination was so creative. But little did they know that their friend already saw a monster and it was not imaginary. It was real.